Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I am Scott Zackery Ditto. Ditto to most.

Dear Journal,

This being my journal and writing about my life and thoughts and all that junk, there's something you'd need to know to better know me and understand me. Something that is a large part of my life and a big part of what makes me...me, And yet it's not. Its just another little insignificant part of me that makes me who I am.

I, Scott Zackery Ditto, am bisexual.

I sometimes just say gay, cause it's easier to explain and people can comprehend that better than the vague therm that is "bi". So what does that mean? It means I am sexually AND romantically attracted to male and female humans. I've concluded that I am 70-80% gay and 30-20% straight (depending on the day). Meaning, I am more attracted to males and a wider variety of males, than I am to females.

Now that you understand that, lets talk about it. Some of you may be surprised and some of you may not be so surprised, and then some of you already know. And I know that some of you may have questions or thoughts. I would love to answer them and discuss anything with you. Just ask.

The first question I usually get is: "But you're Mormon"

Yes, I am Mormon! And I know the current doctrine and the current position The LDS Church has on homosexuality. However. I also know that just because I am gay, does not mean the church is not true. I continue to have faith in my religion and will always continue to have that faith. Even if I were to be excommunicated one day, I would still attend church on Sundays and practice my LDS beliefs. How do I reconcile my faith and my sexual orientation? Simple. I do not believe there is anything to reconcile. I can not believe homosexuality is in any way hated by Heavenly Father. If it is, he is not the all loving and inclusive God I have come to know and love. I have three main reasons I believe this and have full faith in. But those are for a future entry. (Here is the future entry.)

Next comes: "If you're bi, why don't you just date/marry girls"
Who knows maybe I will. The way it is for me is I like and fall in love with who I like and fall in love with. If I happen to meet a fine young lady that I love and marry first, so be it! But if I meet a fine young gentleman that I love and marry first, all the same! Either way, I know I will be happy and fulfilled.

There are lots of questions and I have my answers, so if you have some, ask away. But I don't want this to be a super long entry ;)

Now that you know.....now what? What happens? What changes? How should you react, treat me, or think of me?

Nothing happens. Nothing changes. You react like you just found out I like the color green (which I do). You treat me as you always have. And you think kindly and loving of me. If anything, you think of me as brave and strong.
Why brave and strong? Because thats what it takes to be any kind of gay in this world. And even more of it to "come out" to people. I am 100% confident in my sexuality. I have no issues with being gay; socially, religiously, or personally. But to sit down, look your mother in the face after twenty three years of hearing that being gay is a sin and is disgusting from your family, your friends, leaders, role models, and preachers, is the most un-nerving, emotionally racking, and scariest thing someone will ever do. It takes courage to be gay in our world. To walk down the street holding hands with the person you love and hear someone on the other side of the street yell out at you "Fucking Fagots" and to still hold your head high. To listen to your best friends discuss how gross gay guys are and how they would beat them up if one ever hit on them. Or to go to church. To go to church, a place you seek for upliftment and guidance, and have to  listen to the preacher give a sermon on the great abomination that you are and that you are never going to go to heaven. No, you will go to hell and burn. Because God, the one being who you should be able to turn to for unconditional love hates you.
Yes. Think of me and every other homosexual person as brave and strong.

Why "Come out"?
I've never even thought about coming out until recently. I didn't feel it was something I needed to do or should have to do. The only time I brought it up or told anyone was if it was relevant to the conversation/situation or important for someone to know. I wasn't closeted but I wasn't "out" either.
I decided to "come out" for a few reasons. First. Because I can not stand to be just sit back anymore and watch/listen to the hate and stupidity of people towards homosexuals anymore.  I mean watch this video and tell me that is what God wants. Which is the bigger abomination to God: Me loving a man or people hating, condemning, and killing people in the name of God because they love the same sex? I "came out" because I want to be a voice for myself and fellow homo's. I want to help change the way people view homosexuals. And it has to start with myself. Second. I want to be open and honest with all the people I know and love. It's a part of who I am. To truly know me and love me, you must truly know me. Third, while I haven't treated it as a secret and am in no way ashamed of being bisexual, it is a big burden lifted to say it and for people to know.

I am the same person I have been. I am Scott Zackery Ditto. I am bisexual. I am a son, a brother, a friend. I am white. American. 5'11. I'm Mormon. A student at BYU. More a liberal than anything else. I love Chinese food. I get shy in large groups. I love people and give the benefit of the doubt to a fault. I cry when I see the dark side of people. I also cry watching Lilo and Sticth. I love dogs.



Ditto

19 comments:

  1. I'm proud of you Ditto, keep being yourself and believing what you know is true, not what others believe is true. I wish you the best.

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    1. I don't know who you is, but thanks!

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  2. You are my nephew, I love you and I'm proud of you...always

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  3. I think you're great.

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  4. You stand out from the crowd (in a good way) and I'm lucky to be your friend.

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    1. Haha, who is this!? And yes, you are ;)

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  5. "The way it is for me is I like and fall in love with who I like and fall in love with. If I happen to meet a fine young lady that I love and marry first, so be it! But if I meet a fine young gentleman that I love and marry first, all the same! Either way, I know I will be happy and fulfilled."

    I love how you phrased this. My mom always gets on me about not marrying a guy and I'm like hey it could still happen. I'll love who I love. That's the beauty of being a panromantic :P

    And thank you for this post. It's nice to see other Provo gays out and about :)

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  6. I really respect that you aren't afraid to let people know who you are, and that you stick with the church despite all the misconceptions about the church and gay people. I certainly wish more people would be like you in seeing that it's not an either/or situation, in choosing what you believe. I do have a question, though: How do you reconcile potentially marrying a man with the church's stance on all members of the church remaining celibate until marriage (which the church recognizes as being between a man and a woman)?

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    1. I'm not sure if this will answer you question or not, but:

      Like I mentioned, I do not feel I need to reconcile anything between the two. I will have a post that will explain why (the three points) I feel like that, just not sure when I will have that one up. Which I know will answer your question.

      But for now, I will just say that, despite the current definition of the Law of Chasity as defined by the church, the law of chastity in its basic form is no sexual relations before LEGAL marriage. Today a man and a man/a woman and a woman are able to be LEGALLY married. Therefore being within the bounds of the law. And the future post will tie that in with the current LDS definition.

      Hope that answered your question? Haha

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    2. How do you reconcile this with the Family Proclamation?

      It is a common misconception in the world today that if you don't embrace and promote what someone does then you don't love them, which isn't the case. Just as one may be inclined to use alcohol and feel that it calms them and makes them happier, prophets say otherwise. Just because people choose to not follow the commandments or doesnt mean that God doesn't love them. The commandments are an insight to the character if God as we worn towards becoming perfect even as He is. He still loves all of His children no matter how saddened He is by all of their mistakes.

      You are correcting saying that God is inclusive. He is inclusive to all who choose to follow the commandments, make and keep covenants, and strive to become more like Him.

      The atonement is infinite and has the power to take away all our sorrows and remove our temptations, but we are not to say when exactly that comes. It may be in this life or the next, but the primary kid answer of Nephi still holds true: the Lord will prepare a way for us to fulfill all the commandments and that includes marrying in the temple to create an eternal family, something that is at the very core of the whole Plan of Salvation.

      I hope you read this with an open mind and do not immediately ignore a slightly differing viewpoint.

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    3. Anonymous, of course I wouldn't dismiss a differing viewpoint! I'm fine with people not embracing and promoting homosexuality and I don't think they fail to love when they do. Also, I am fully aware that God loves us all no matter what; however, there are those who do not believe that and teach it, those are who I refer to.

      As I homosexual, I am just a s fully capable of following and keeping all the commandments and covenants, and I continue to strive to become more like him every day. I feel that saying homosexuals cant become like God, is the same as saying women can not become as good because God is a male.

      As for reconciling this with the Family Proclamation; 1. I respect the FP for what it is and the guidance that it gives. But it is not scripture. It is a statement proclaiming the churches position on the topic. And position (and even doctrine) have been changed or altered in the past when new higher revelation is given. 2. I would refer you to this blog post:

      http://perplextinfaith.blogspot.com/2013/03/families-and-salvation.html?showComment=1363332126027#c8572423648133625211

      As I feel it does a great job of explaining more on the topic.

      Thanks for reading and asking me! Feel free to ask anything. You're awesome, whoever you be!

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  7. Love you Ditto! So proud of your post! :) You are amazing!

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  8. Love dogs! Well ok then it's decided. You're great. I look forward to hearing more of your dog loving voice.

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    1. Haha, Thanks! I just hope I can keep the momentum up and actually write!

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  9. I am really proud of you, dude! I wish much happy to you from Rio, Brazil! I am mormon too and let's be happy!

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  10. Ditto! This was amazing! I can't believe how great you are and how I teared up reading this. lol. Thanks for leading me to this post, I enjoyed reading this a LOT! I also tear up while watching Lilo & Stitch, haha! We should watch it together sometime. It's been my fave for a while now.
    But in all seriousness I completely agree. I've not had much trouble with people like my roommates and family, but it's still scary. Especially sometimes with my brothers because I think they see it as something that it's not. And not in a bad way or anything, but in a way that if they knew the truth, it would somewhat be uncomfortable. But at the same time I know that would go away eventually. It's interesting thinking about coming out, especially since I think I am more afraid for my brothers to know than anybody else. I am going to put more thought to this, thanks for leading me to this one to read. Love you!

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  11. Hello Ditto, thanks for the post =) I was raised in a homophobic environment and people like you help me to overcome prejudices =) you are nice person and I respect and admire your coming out =)

    Sasha from Ukraine.

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