Thursday, March 14, 2013

Chivalry isn't so outdated after all

Dear journal,

As far as family roles and dating goes, I've always considered myself a modern day guy. I don't feel like I have to be the one to ask a girl on a date based off the fact that I am a male. Or that it's my responsibility to pay for that date every time because, again, I have the outward facing genitals. And I've always pictured my wife (assuming I marry a woman ;)) having her own successful career.
I've always felt that opening doors and all that jazz was just kinda over the top and out-dated. I mean it's a nice gesture and what not. But yeah.

Until recently.

I was going on dates with this one guy, we'll call him ThisBoy. We were't anything serious and had been on maybe one date before. But this date, ThisBoy took me to *IHOPE for breakfast. While paying for the check, the waitress approached us and told us the cook (who had seated us) thought [ThisBoy] was cute and wanted to see if he could get his number. ThisBoy said no, he doesn't give his number out and sent the check with her. While sitting there I asked why didn't you give him your number? "because that was extremely rude of him and pisses me off that he would ask". At first I was a little taken back and thought ThisBoy was over reacting and being kinda harsh. But he continued; "It's obvious I'm on a date with you". I don't know where I was going with that, but it kinda made me feel really good about ThisBoy and respected. But I mention that because it was only the beginning.
Walking to the car, ThisBoy went to the passenger side-door.
I was like, is he wanting me to drive? He must need to grab something. Wha..what the... "what are you doing, ha?"
"I'm opening the door for you, duh"
"uh...okay, thanks."
Again I was taken back a little. And again, I felt the same feelings as moments before.
We spent some more time together that day and then he took me home.
"Here we are" were not his exact words.
"Thanks for the ride ho....where are you going?" I asked all confused like as he got out of the car.
"I'm walking you to the door"
............It's like 15 feet, "uh, okay".  And again, the same feelings.

Those feelings were feelings of being respected and excitement that he was so amazing. It made me feel like I was more than just another guy. Thinking back on the date and ThisBoy opening the car door for me and walking me to my door is my favorite memory of ThisBoy and our date. He made me feel good about myself and greatly impressed me with those two simple small acts. I never thought someone would do such a thing for me or like me enough to do it.  And of course it made me like him  40X more, haha. I was surprised not only that he did those things, but I was surprised by the way it made me feel. It was a completely new experience for me.

Thanks to ThisBoy, my perspective on the simple acts of opening a door for your date and walking them to the door are changed.

I've always said: 'The type of girl I marry will be the girl that asks me out". But now I can't wait to marry the person that opens the door for me and walks me to the door.

*Spell out 'IHOP' and say "ness";) Hahaha, I love it.



  1. I do not know you, but I saw a link to your blog on a friend's facebook page. When I began reading this post it was a little upsetting that you- and 95% of other human beings- have no concept of what chivalry is, but I kept reading. I was pleased to discover that ThisBoy changed your perspective on that. As a female, it is a great feeling to know that someone cares for you enough to want to constantly serve you, even if it is simply holding open a door. I am never above asking someone on a date; I am not one to sit around waiting for a guy to ask me to dance, because I know that most guys feel that it shouldn't be their responsibility. The concept of "Ladies and Gentleman" hardly exists anymore.But it is great, as you have witnessed firsthand, to be treated a bit above average by someone. It shows that they truly care. You should watch this:

  2. Haha, thanks for reading! I have a concept of chivalry (Guess I spelt it wrong...) I just never felt it was something for a casual type relationship. But like I said, I feel differently now ;) I'll watch the video when I get home!

  3. My guy and I love doing old fashioned things for each other like opening the car door and walking each other to the door. I had surgery yesterday morning. When I was wheeled into the operating room my guy bent over and kissed me just before stepping into the surgery waiting room. It was a wonderful send off knowing that my love would be there when I awoke.

  4. I tried to teach my boys to hold the door open for anyone, as a gesture of kindness/respect. It wasn't until I married Randy that I fully appreciated how special/cherished it makes me feel. It started while we were dating and I kinda expected it to stop once the 'new' wore off, but it hasn't!

    I think there is something to be said about 'old fashioned' stuff and a couple being their own island. I think too much separateness and 'independence' has something to do with so many relationships drifting apart. I know you were talking about a casual relationship, but what if it turned into more? It's pretty impossible to know what 'could' happen. I say start something the way you want it to continue, but be yourself, that way it won't feel like an obligation, it'll be something you WANT to do :)