Not-so-lonely V-Day

Dear Journal,

I told you in the start not to expect me to write regularly for very long! But I'm back, baby! And on Valentines Day of all days! If you recall from a previous entry (This one here. ),  I said Valentines Day is my favorite holiday. That remains truer than ever! I love the day dedicated to love. Be bitter about it and call it over-rated and commercialism at its finest if that's what you want to do. OR go out and love someone! Show appreciation to a friend or two, your mom or dad, your co-worker who is slightly taken for granted, show a little extra attention to that guy or gal you've been interested in. Show and share some love! It's such a great and unique feeling to know someone thought of you on this day.
I'l give the I've-been-MIA-so-here-is-an-update-on-life entry another time.

For today, today, I want to express some love. Good ol' L-O-V-E. This love is for someone specific though ;). This love is for my  man, Mikeum (My-kum(I know what you're thinking, you nasty)). I would insert a picture of us, BUUUUT as with a lot of LGBT LDS cases, there are some family issues that are working out before he and I go viral. Yes, we are viral cute.

Mikeum and I met via the magic that is Tinder. We chatted for a bit, this and that. Then the jerk blocked me on everything and ignored me for a couple weeks, seemingly out of no where. I KNOOOW, who would do that!? Utah gays, thats who. Anyway, my charm and cunning ways, intrigued him once again and he couldn't resist. We decided to go on a date/discuss church/gay stuff; church stuff being why he blocked me. Needless to say, he got hooked on Ditto. We meet up and went on several more cute as shit dates, like the Zoo Lights. That was a good date. After he got over himself and realized I wasn't trying to play him, cause I "seemed the type" (bitch please), we decided to just make it what it already was and just date. We started a journey together on New Years Eve. Start the new year off with some homo love and family drama; check that off the 2015 Gay Agenda, please. Skip lots of personal stuff, because it's personal-duh, but mostly because I don't want to type that crap up, and here we are today! Mikeum is someone I didn't necessarily see myself falling for at first. I didn't feel that initial click right off. But man has this boy grown on me. I mean, you should see his SUPER SMASH BROS skills. Mad. Kinda a turn on watching him kick some Falco butt. Also his love for Pokemon. I love Pokemon, he loves Pokemon and we both hate any Pokemon after the first generation. A match made in heaven, right!? I mean, yeah, there is a bunch of personality and character stuff too, of course. And those damn blue eyes. Wait till you see them. This is a guy I can see something great with. And that is something incredible.

Anyway, I would write more but his car broke down and he isn't able to come to SLC for the day, so I'm on my way to surprise him with some flowers and a special book in Provo and the train is pulling in so I gotz to bounce.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!! 

Ditto

"Gay is okay!" -God

Dear journal, 

For this entry I want to share the main reasons I feel I do not need to reconcile my homosexual self with my Mormon self, the reasons I do not believe homosexuality is wrong nor an abomination to God. But is in fact just fine and acceptable to our Heavenly Father. And don’t get me wrong, I love the church, I mean not to disprove the church or speak against it. I mean only to explain why I believe the (LDS) church will one day change it’s view and stance on homosexuality. 

I have three points: 1. God created me and only intends for me to achieve eternal salvation. 2. The “plugs” DO very well fit. 3. God gives us line upon line and precept upon precept. I’ll do my best to explain and be concise. My reasons and explanations come from more of a Later-day Saint understanding and doctrine, But I’m sure no matter who you are, you’ll be able to grasp my point. 

Reason #1

Moses 1:39- For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. We understand this to mean two things: 1. God wants us to have eternal life and salvation. 2. For God to continue to progress and obtain even higher glory himself, he must help us to do so as well. 

Lets look at number 1.  Heavenly Father WANTS us, every single one of his children to have salvation and return to live with him in the highest glory. He loves us and does nothing to hinder our progression, He does nothing to keep us from progressing to eternal life and again living in his very presence. The Lord created every one of us. He created every aspect of our very being. And thus he created me and all his LGBT children with homosexual “tendencies”. Heavenly Father creates perfection. He did not accidentally create me gay or forget to turn on my “I like girls” switch. No, he created me perfectly the way he intended, one of his male children who will one day love another perfectly created male child of his. And because he created me as such and wants nothing more than for me to be happy and obtain salvation and eternal life, how could he then tell me, “if you choose to love another man and “act on” the homosexual “tendencies” I have given you, you will not be able to obtain eternal life”. “I love you and want you to return to me but you don’t have that great of a shot since you’re a homosexual”. No, Heavenly Father would not do anything of the sort. He would not handicap my progression and chance at eternal life. Some people may say, “Yes, he gave you the temptation or burden of these “tendencies”, you did not choose them. However you do choose to “act” on them. And that is your trial in this life.” Or, “It’s just like when someone has alcoholic tendencies”. One, no one is born an alcoholic and two, ones personal happiness and fulfillment is not dependent on if they get a shot of vodka or not. The temptation to drink pales in comparison to “act” on homosexual tendencies. And to the first argument, Heavenly father does not give us temptations or burdens, he allows them to happen but he does not give them. However, by your statement, we both agree that Heavenly Father has created me with these “tendencies” and therefore can not be a temptation or burden. The God I love, know, and worship would in no way damn his own children before they even knew what their name was. It’s like God sending one of his children to earth knowing full well that the person is going to die by burning to death, this person will have no choice in how they die. Once this person gets to earth, God decrees that any person who burns to death, shall not receive eternal life or be able to return to live with him. This is not how the Lord works. 

Now looking at number 2. For the Lord to continue his own progression and obtain more glory still, we, his children, must obtain Eternal life and glory ourselves. By creating, say, 100 children, and needing all 100 of us to return, would he not be hindering his own progression by making 25 of us gay or lesbian and forbidding us from being able to return and live with him?

Reason #2 (This one is a little more mature): 

I read an article not to long ago (And I tried really hard to find it again so that I could link it) that surveyed men and women on sexual satisfaction. From the results, they found that some high percentage (It was in the 60-70’s) of women reached orgasm more often by being externally stimulated. Now, we all know that male organs do not stimulate externally. More than 50% of women reported this! 

Now look at the males physical make up. The anus contains more pleasure nerves than anywhere else on the body (Male and female). It’s true, look it up!  Meaning sexual satisfaction is certainly obtainable by stimulation. And not to mention that the prostate is found right there, which again, provides a great amount of ....satisfaction. 

So what exactly is my point? It’s this rather elementary. Heavenly Father, having created our bodies, putting every cell, bone, and even the nerves in very meticulous spots to work perfectly together and serve varying purposes, knew exactly what he was doing and made it possible for- no matter which gender you were with- everyone to be sexually satisfied and fulfilled. So it’s more unnatural the way we grow our food than to have sex with someone of the same gender. 

Here, someone might argue “well, what about the law of chastity?” To that I say this, a homosexual person is perfectly able to keep all the laws and commandments a heterosexual person can. The law of chastity simply is no sexual relations outside the bonds of legal marriage. And guess whats been happening! Gay couples are being able to marry, LEGALLY! Meaning, a homosexual couple if remaining chaste before marriage  and has sexual relations only with their spouse after, are perfectly within the bounds of that law. 

**Edit: Point three somehow was cut off. I'll have to make a future post going into how blacks and the priesthood is a precedent to LGBT's and the church.  Sorry. 

Ditto

Equality is well on it's way

Dear journal,

Today is a special day. The Supreme court began reviewing prop 8 and DOMA! If they get overturned,  the "same-sex"marriage debate will be over!

I woke up this morning and quickly turned on my computer to check in on the status of the rulings and all the stuff going on around it. While watching and seeing all the support on Facebook, twitter, and the speeches given in D.C., I started crying.  I was so happy and excited! I AM so happy and excited! Things are changing. The majority of the people are in favor of "same-sex" marriage. I could go off on all these thoughts and feeling about the topic. But for now, I am just so elated and beyond words excited.

I wore red today and my Facebook and the internet were blowing up red. Today in My EMT class several of the students asked me about my button, resembling this picture.

And it opened up a great discussion about the Supreme court cases and marriage equality. Which also lead to being gay and mormon. But it was an awesome discussion. The whole class was super cool and supportive. Haha, in fact, I think I may have become a little more popular with them all, haha. 

One day. I will marry a boy named Jake. And I will not have to worry about which state I live in. I will not need to worry about any legal issues should a death between us happen or any other legal crap. We will be able to live happily. As man and man.

This is a wonderful time.


Live updates

Ditto

I am Scott Zackery Ditto. Ditto to most.

Dear Journal,

This being my journal and writing about my life and thoughts and all that junk, there's something you'd need to know to better know me and understand me. Something that is a large part of my life and a big part of what makes me...me, And yet it's not. Its just another little insignificant part of me that makes me who I am.

I, Scott Zackery Ditto, am bisexual.

I sometimes just say gay, cause it's easier to explain and people can comprehend that better than the vague therm that is "bi". So what does that mean? It means I am sexually AND romantically attracted to male and female humans. I've concluded that I am 70-80% gay and 30-20% straight (depending on the day). Meaning, I am more attracted to males and a wider variety of males, than I am to females.

Now that you understand that, lets talk about it. Some of you may be surprised and some of you may not be so surprised, and then some of you already know. And I know that some of you may have questions or thoughts. I would love to answer them and discuss anything with you. Just ask.

The first question I usually get is: "But you're Mormon"

Yes, I am Mormon! And I know the current doctrine and the current position The LDS Church has on homosexuality. However. I also know that just because I am gay, does not mean the church is not true. I continue to have faith in my religion and will always continue to have that faith. Even if I were to be excommunicated one day, I would still attend church on Sundays and practice my LDS beliefs. How do I reconcile my faith and my sexual orientation? Simple. I do not believe there is anything to reconcile. I can not believe homosexuality is in any way hated by Heavenly Father. If it is, he is not the all loving and inclusive God I have come to know and love. I have three main reasons I believe this and have full faith in. But those are for a future entry. (Here is the future entry.)

Next comes: "If you're bi, why don't you just date/marry girls"
Who knows maybe I will. The way it is for me is I like and fall in love with who I like and fall in love with. If I happen to meet a fine young lady that I love and marry first, so be it! But if I meet a fine young gentleman that I love and marry first, all the same! Either way, I know I will be happy and fulfilled.

There are lots of questions and I have my answers, so if you have some, ask away. But I don't want this to be a super long entry ;)

Now that you know.....now what? What happens? What changes? How should you react, treat me, or think of me?

Nothing happens. Nothing changes. You react like you just found out I like the color green (which I do). You treat me as you always have. And you think kindly and loving of me. If anything, you think of me as brave and strong.
Why brave and strong? Because thats what it takes to be any kind of gay in this world. And even more of it to "come out" to people. I am 100% confident in my sexuality. I have no issues with being gay; socially, religiously, or personally. But to sit down, look your mother in the face after twenty three years of hearing that being gay is a sin and is disgusting from your family, your friends, leaders, role models, and preachers, is the most un-nerving, emotionally racking, and scariest thing someone will ever do. It takes courage to be gay in our world. To walk down the street holding hands with the person you love and hear someone on the other side of the street yell out at you "Fucking Fagots" and to still hold your head high. To listen to your best friends discuss how gross gay guys are and how they would beat them up if one ever hit on them. Or to go to church. To go to church, a place you seek for upliftment and guidance, and have to  listen to the preacher give a sermon on the great abomination that you are and that you are never going to go to heaven. No, you will go to hell and burn. Because God, the one being who you should be able to turn to for unconditional love hates you.
Yes. Think of me and every other homosexual person as brave and strong.

Why "Come out"?
I've never even thought about coming out until recently. I didn't feel it was something I needed to do or should have to do. The only time I brought it up or told anyone was if it was relevant to the conversation/situation or important for someone to know. I wasn't closeted but I wasn't "out" either.
I decided to "come out" for a few reasons. First. Because I can not stand to be just sit back anymore and watch/listen to the hate and stupidity of people towards homosexuals anymore.  I mean watch this video and tell me that is what God wants. Which is the bigger abomination to God: Me loving a man or people hating, condemning, and killing people in the name of God because they love the same sex? I "came out" because I want to be a voice for myself and fellow homo's. I want to help change the way people view homosexuals. And it has to start with myself. Second. I want to be open and honest with all the people I know and love. It's a part of who I am. To truly know me and love me, you must truly know me. Third, while I haven't treated it as a secret and am in no way ashamed of being bisexual, it is a big burden lifted to say it and for people to know.

I am the same person I have been. I am Scott Zackery Ditto. I am bisexual. I am a son, a brother, a friend. I am white. American. 5'11. I'm Mormon. A student at BYU. More a liberal than anything else. I love Chinese food. I get shy in large groups. I love people and give the benefit of the doubt to a fault. I cry when I see the dark side of people. I also cry watching Lilo and Sticth. I love dogs.

Ditto