Dear journal,
So, I've come to the conclusion that no matter how social I've become, how "cool" of I guy I get, and no matter how much effort I make (or try not to make) I will never be part of the crowd or group. All through high school I was the loner. I was in that weird place where I wasn't un-cool or someone people didn't like, but I wasn't cool enough to be included in the various clicks either. So I sat in between the many groups of people and was always left on my own in the end. Alone at lunch. Alone at recess. Alone on the weekends. Just always alone. People would talk to me or hang out with me now and then. And if I were on the verge of making a regular friend, it didn't last long before I was left alone again. I was always just more of an acquaintance for people than a friend.
Often times people say I should have been more outgoing or that some how I was choosing to be a loner. But you tell me, what teenager in high school WANTS or CHOOSES to be alone with no real friends, to not be a part of some group. NONE. Loners aren't loners for the fun of it. Hell, there is no fun in being a loner. You come back to school on Monday and hear about how everyone had such a fantastic weekend with their BFF's and how they did this or that and your sitting there wishing more than anything you had a BFF to just go to a movie with or sit with at the lunch table. Even the damn band nerds had each other. Loners are loners the same reason someone is "a cool kid" or a "loser", because 1. it's just who they are and 2. their circumstances. I wasn't a loser but I wasn't cool either. How do you even change that!?
Anyway. I thought after high school I had evolved and was no longer a loner. I had friends and was always doing fun stuff with them. People were calling me, THEY called ME, people WANTED to hang out with me. I had successful changed myself from "loner" to someone people enjoyed being around and even wanted to be around.
Finally, I was a "cool guy"! But man, was I ever wrong.
None of that lasted. As it always had in the past, those relationships were fleeting. I had somehow slipped back into that cursed position of "the loner"; to cool to ignore or label a loser, but not cool enough to hang. Despite my efforts to be someone people like and want to call a friend, I was still on my own.
Even today. I find a group of amazing people I'm cool for a blazing moment and then that blaze fizzles out and I'm squeezed to the background, I become "oh Ditto, yeah, he's a cool guy", time after time. I once again have to listen to how wonderful a weekend was with everyone or told that they are going to be busy with another "cool" person.
I mean, eff, it's even the pattern my relationships follow. Im amazing and a great guy for two weeks and then before I know it, I was some fling. Dropped like a hot potato.
So what have I come to figure? I'm destined to be a lone wolf. If I could change it I would, but I'm apparently a loner by nature and that bitch wants it to stay that way.
But that's cool. I like me. Sometimes I even crack myself up and can entertain the hell out of myself. But every once in a while, my week is made by that one invite, or that one "how are you" text. I think it keeps me from feeling forgotten. Which is a legit fear of mine (it's a real thing look it up).
So, I challenge you. Think of someone right now. Someone that you like but dont make a lot of effort to reach out to. And invite them to lunch or a night out. Maybe even just text them and chat for a bit. I promise, you'll make all the difference in their day.
Well, this loner has to go to work.
The Lone Wolf
* This is not a wo me entry.
Showing posts with label mormon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mormon. Show all posts
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Monday, February 17, 2014
Valentines Day
Dear Journal,
So Valentines day is my favorite holiday.
So many people hate it, are bitter about it, or just think it's a dumb fake holiday for companies to make money. And yes, the latter one is rather true. But Valentines day is what you make it, really!
Why do I love Valentines Day? Because it's the day of love! You can't hate something thats all about love, right!?
I love the idea behind Valentines day. I love that its a day to express and SHOW your love for another. I love love. I a sucker for it. Love for a significant other, love between friends...LOVE!
To be honest. I have never had a significant other, or even so much as a date, on any of the V-days I have lived on. I thought I did last year, but I was just being a fool. And I so very much look forward to the V-day that I do have someone. Because on that Valentines day, I will make that person feel like a mother. fucking. king. They will be the most important person to walk the earths green and blue face. But, I believe that V-day is not only a day to show love to and spoil your lover. No! It's a day to to express love and appreciation to everyone that you love and has a special place in your life. I use the magnificent day that Valentines Day is to let my friends know how special they are to me and that they too have a place in my heart and that I greatly appreciate the role they play in my life. I get them flowers and wright them notes. I make sure they, too, feel loved and know I think about them often.
So for anyone who hates Valentines day or only despises it when they don't have a special someone to spend it with, I think you should look around and consider all the people you do love and have. Let them know that you love them. That you appreciate them. Make them feel special on this special day set aside for expressing love.
Freaking love.
Ditto
So Valentines day is my favorite holiday.
So many people hate it, are bitter about it, or just think it's a dumb fake holiday for companies to make money. And yes, the latter one is rather true. But Valentines day is what you make it, really!
Why do I love Valentines Day? Because it's the day of love! You can't hate something thats all about love, right!?
I love the idea behind Valentines day. I love that its a day to express and SHOW your love for another. I love love. I a sucker for it. Love for a significant other, love between friends...LOVE!
To be honest. I have never had a significant other, or even so much as a date, on any of the V-days I have lived on. I thought I did last year, but I was just being a fool. And I so very much look forward to the V-day that I do have someone. Because on that Valentines day, I will make that person feel like a mother. fucking. king. They will be the most important person to walk the earths green and blue face. But, I believe that V-day is not only a day to show love to and spoil your lover. No! It's a day to to express love and appreciation to everyone that you love and has a special place in your life. I use the magnificent day that Valentines Day is to let my friends know how special they are to me and that they too have a place in my heart and that I greatly appreciate the role they play in my life. I get them flowers and wright them notes. I make sure they, too, feel loved and know I think about them often.
So for anyone who hates Valentines day or only despises it when they don't have a special someone to spend it with, I think you should look around and consider all the people you do love and have. Let them know that you love them. That you appreciate them. Make them feel special on this special day set aside for expressing love.
Freaking love.
Ditto
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Who said gods are sexually active?
Dear Journal,
Recently I had a roommate, out of curiosity, ask me questions about being homosexual and mormon. Which, I'm always happy to discuss with people!
One of his questions was (paraphrased); "But what about after this life, when we are creating our own spirit children, two people of the same sex wouldn't be able to do that?"
I mean it's a good question. We know that after this life at some point, assuming we lived to meet the requirements and did all that was needed, we will become as god and start creating our own spirit children and what-nots. So how could a gay god or goddess couple create these spirits?
Well. My response to this is; Who said God is having sex and heavenly mother is popping out little ones left and right? Cause let's be honest, to create all of us that way, all due respect, heavenly father must be poppin the blue pill non-stop and heavenly mother constantly baking some buns in the oven.
Here in Moses 3:5, the lord tells us he created all things spiritually before they were physical. The key word here is CREATE. As gods we CREATE spirit children. We do not birth spirit children. And that extends to things such as planets. I would hate to think Heavenly Mother had to push all these massive planets out....
Not to mention that Heavenly father didn't really CREATE us. We learn from D&C 93:29 and Abraham 3:22 that we existed as intelligences, even with God, that were "not created or made, neither indeed can be". But that God in fact organized us as intelligences. And it is the organizing that I can only assume is the creating part.
My point is this: We do not know how God created us. We do not know how we will in turn create more children when we ourselves are gods. So to try and argue that homosexuality is not natural or ordained by God or that "things will be worked out the right way in heaven" by saying that a man and a man or a woman and a woman will not be able to CREATE spirit children is, simply and bluntly, idiotic of the individual. They are assuming that God has sex with his goddess and she births a child. And you know what they say about assuming (it makes you look like an ass).
So yes, I do believe and have full faith that if I marry another male, and if we live worthily of obtaining godhood, that me and my man will create worlds a plenty with beautiful spirit children running around with tails and/or playing with their soul animals. Cause in my worlds, everyone gets a tail and the Golden Compass is real.
Also, my god name will be Zoltron.
Ditto
Recently I had a roommate, out of curiosity, ask me questions about being homosexual and mormon. Which, I'm always happy to discuss with people!
One of his questions was (paraphrased); "But what about after this life, when we are creating our own spirit children, two people of the same sex wouldn't be able to do that?"
I mean it's a good question. We know that after this life at some point, assuming we lived to meet the requirements and did all that was needed, we will become as god and start creating our own spirit children and what-nots. So how could a gay god or goddess couple create these spirits?
Well. My response to this is; Who said God is having sex and heavenly mother is popping out little ones left and right? Cause let's be honest, to create all of us that way, all due respect, heavenly father must be poppin the blue pill non-stop and heavenly mother constantly baking some buns in the oven.
Here in Moses 3:5, the lord tells us he created all things spiritually before they were physical. The key word here is CREATE. As gods we CREATE spirit children. We do not birth spirit children. And that extends to things such as planets. I would hate to think Heavenly Mother had to push all these massive planets out....Not to mention that Heavenly father didn't really CREATE us. We learn from D&C 93:29 and Abraham 3:22 that we existed as intelligences, even with God, that were "not created or made, neither indeed can be". But that God in fact organized us as intelligences. And it is the organizing that I can only assume is the creating part.
My point is this: We do not know how God created us. We do not know how we will in turn create more children when we ourselves are gods. So to try and argue that homosexuality is not natural or ordained by God or that "things will be worked out the right way in heaven" by saying that a man and a man or a woman and a woman will not be able to CREATE spirit children is, simply and bluntly, idiotic of the individual. They are assuming that God has sex with his goddess and she births a child. And you know what they say about assuming (it makes you look like an ass).
So yes, I do believe and have full faith that if I marry another male, and if we live worthily of obtaining godhood, that me and my man will create worlds a plenty with beautiful spirit children running around with tails and/or playing with their soul animals. Cause in my worlds, everyone gets a tail and the Golden Compass is real.
Also, my god name will be Zoltron.
Ditto
Building Up
Dear Journal,
Q:Where do you see yourself at age 25?
A: Close to finishing my law degree at NYU Law, if I didn't finish early! And then working for a law firm in New York City!
Q: Married?
A: Of course! I want to get married when I'm about 22 or 23 to whoever the incredible girl is I have been dating for a year or two.
Q: Any kids?
A: Two! Probably not both kids by age 25, ha. But I want at least one by then. I want to have one of my own with my wife and then adopt a child. Some people have like 4 or more kids, but I can not imagine having more than two.
~Interview with myself, freshmen year of high school
Q: Where do you see yourself at age 25?
A: You mean next year...in 9 months? Eff, I don't know! In school, somewhere, hopefully.
Q: Married?
A: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Dude, I've never even had a boyfriend or girlfriend. I would love to find someone I fall greatly in love with and settle down. But it's not looking likely ANY time soon.
Q: Any kids?
A: ................like if I knocked some chick up this week, other wise it's not possible. But even then, it's a struggle to provide for myself, much less a little offspring running around.
~Interview with myself, today
Needless to say, my life is nothing remotely close to what I envisioned it to be when I was young and naive. All those "Where do you see yourself" worksheets are crap. What's the quote? "Life is what happens to you when you are busy making plans"? Well, I made my plans and life reared it's bitter-sweet bitch face and here I am; feeling unaccomplished and unsure what to do at this point. I feel like I've come to a standstill and my legs are locked at the knees. I know what I want but I don't know how to get there.
I've tried several directions, none quite working out or even being counter-productive. I've dug a hole. Then I dug another hole thinking I'd use the dirt from that hole to climb out of this one, only to find the more I dig, the more dirt I need to get out. So a couple times I've dug sideways, not going down anymore, but no closer to getting out of the hole, just a different spot.
I continue to make plans but life keeps happening. It's not totally bad. I've learned much while in this hole or that hole and while digging them. I've gained experiences from this and that. And above all, I've learned a shit load about myself. A lot of which I now know needs to change or work on, but also some strengths.
But you know what? I'm down here in this hole. And I'm going to go all Minecraft on its ass. I don't yet have the tools I need to get back to the surface and I'm slightly lost down here, running low on torches. But it's below the surface that you find all the materials needed to build, not only more torches, but bigger and better things on the surface.
So, for the time being, I'll make my home here in this hole of mine. I'll go out and I'll find the materials I need and combine them with the ones I have already. With them, I'll build my home here in this hole. I'll fortify my hole and I'll expand my hole (Get your mind out of the gutter, ya nasty). I do not plan to live here long. Slowly, I will find the materials to build a staircase. And step by step I will make my way out of the hole I've called home. The building I do here will become the foundation for the home I build upon the surface. And that home will be grand. With all that I learn and collect while focusing on my current renovation, I will build a more stable and beautiful home.
I don't know what materials I will find along the way, some are much more rare than others, coming across them only by chance, and I don't know all the tools I may need.
But I figure I'll start with some goals and, as I learned on my mission, make smaller goals that lead to achieving the larger goal. I can't build the house without first collecting the wood and then fashioning the hammer. So my first goal is collecting the wood.
Here are a couple Im striving for:
Get back to school. Even if it's not BYU. I'm looking at UVU right now.
Actually thats my only goal right now.....
I've been thinking about joining the reserves, Air Force, as a way to help pay for it. That's the last resort though.
So with that, I'm off to start my building.
Ditto
Q:Where do you see yourself at age 25?
A: Close to finishing my law degree at NYU Law, if I didn't finish early! And then working for a law firm in New York City!
Q: Married?
A: Of course! I want to get married when I'm about 22 or 23 to whoever the incredible girl is I have been dating for a year or two.
Q: Any kids?
A: Two! Probably not both kids by age 25, ha. But I want at least one by then. I want to have one of my own with my wife and then adopt a child. Some people have like 4 or more kids, but I can not imagine having more than two.
~Interview with myself, freshmen year of high school
Q: Where do you see yourself at age 25?
A: You mean next year...in 9 months? Eff, I don't know! In school, somewhere, hopefully.
Q: Married?
A: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Dude, I've never even had a boyfriend or girlfriend. I would love to find someone I fall greatly in love with and settle down. But it's not looking likely ANY time soon.
Q: Any kids?
A: ................like if I knocked some chick up this week, other wise it's not possible. But even then, it's a struggle to provide for myself, much less a little offspring running around.
~Interview with myself, today
Needless to say, my life is nothing remotely close to what I envisioned it to be when I was young and naive. All those "Where do you see yourself" worksheets are crap. What's the quote? "Life is what happens to you when you are busy making plans"? Well, I made my plans and life reared it's bitter-sweet bitch face and here I am; feeling unaccomplished and unsure what to do at this point. I feel like I've come to a standstill and my legs are locked at the knees. I know what I want but I don't know how to get there.
I've tried several directions, none quite working out or even being counter-productive. I've dug a hole. Then I dug another hole thinking I'd use the dirt from that hole to climb out of this one, only to find the more I dig, the more dirt I need to get out. So a couple times I've dug sideways, not going down anymore, but no closer to getting out of the hole, just a different spot.
I continue to make plans but life keeps happening. It's not totally bad. I've learned much while in this hole or that hole and while digging them. I've gained experiences from this and that. And above all, I've learned a shit load about myself. A lot of which I now know needs to change or work on, but also some strengths.
But you know what? I'm down here in this hole. And I'm going to go all Minecraft on its ass. I don't yet have the tools I need to get back to the surface and I'm slightly lost down here, running low on torches. But it's below the surface that you find all the materials needed to build, not only more torches, but bigger and better things on the surface.
So, for the time being, I'll make my home here in this hole of mine. I'll go out and I'll find the materials I need and combine them with the ones I have already. With them, I'll build my home here in this hole. I'll fortify my hole and I'll expand my hole (Get your mind out of the gutter, ya nasty). I do not plan to live here long. Slowly, I will find the materials to build a staircase. And step by step I will make my way out of the hole I've called home. The building I do here will become the foundation for the home I build upon the surface. And that home will be grand. With all that I learn and collect while focusing on my current renovation, I will build a more stable and beautiful home.
I don't know what materials I will find along the way, some are much more rare than others, coming across them only by chance, and I don't know all the tools I may need.
But I figure I'll start with some goals and, as I learned on my mission, make smaller goals that lead to achieving the larger goal. I can't build the house without first collecting the wood and then fashioning the hammer. So my first goal is collecting the wood.
Here are a couple Im striving for:
Get back to school. Even if it's not BYU. I'm looking at UVU right now.
Actually thats my only goal right now.....
I've been thinking about joining the reserves, Air Force, as a way to help pay for it. That's the last resort though.
So with that, I'm off to start my building.
Ditto
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Sometimes you wish you hadn't got out of bed.
Dear journal,
I don't want to be one of those "wo is me" writers all the time. But since it's my journal....I do wha I want. I'm generally I happy care-free guy, but these last couple months have been downers.
Today was an awful day. Someone I love and care a great deal for decided to go and cut me out of his life. His reasoning (which it's a very long and complicated story), is what it is. I don't agree with it, nor he agree with mine. It's been a very bitter-sweet roller coaster kinda relationship with him. And I've always known I should leave it be and forget him, for my own sake. But I mean, when you love someone, what you know to be best and what you feel don't always agree. Often times, the heart dominates the brain. This person I love, we haven't been anything for a while other than friends -well- a dysfunctional resemblance of a friendship. Let's just say it was very one-sided, again, I knew this but chose to look past it due to the way I felt. Anyway. Like I said, today our some-kind-of-relationship came to an end. It's kinda devastating. I think about it, and all I feel is great sadness and struggle to comprehend that it's over, I'll probably never see this person I care so much for again. It's very depressing.
So there was that. My day had been fully crapped upon. And it'll probably stink up my whole week.
Aaaaaaaaannnnd then, I realized tonight that I have alienated myself from my friends. Due to another long story, though shorter than the first one, I decided it would be best for me to distance myself from, not my friends, but a particular person and situation, which consequently meant distancing myself from my friends. I felt like it was the best thing to do for myself. I thought I would take time to figure things out and allow myself to really move one and just focus on me. But as time went one, I grew more and more lonely. I wanted more with each day to be with them. But I was convinced, that for my own sake, I needed to be removed. I thought that it would be okay, I thought that they would understand. I thought that when I felt i was ready, I would be able to go back to them and it would be like it was before I had to leave them. But I seem to have been wrong. I feel a distance between them and myself. I feel no longer like i'm a part of that group. I know they would disagree and say I'm still one of them and I know I am. But theres still that feeling of....not the same. And it's my fault. I did this to myself. I distanced myself from them and in that time a distance grew between us.
But what really vomited on top of my crapped on day was that I found out some of them decided to live together. Now normally thats whatever. But one of the guys they are moving in with, the long story guy......IDK how to word it. Basically, I'm butt hurt and upset about it. I feel like I introduced him to everyone, stuff happens, everyone starts to love the hell out of him, I go away, they all become butt-buddies and BFF's for life and decide to live together and I'm left feeling like I'm on the outside looking in and getting all sad and shit cause no one thought to ask me to live with them.
But it's all whatever. I'm probably to effing sensitive to this crap. Such is life. I'll get over it and be back at square one. The problem is my dwelling mind that drags this mess out and refuses to let me just get over it. But I always eventually get over it.
So yeah, today emotionally blew. I'm working on not caring about anything, considering both long story #1 and long story #2 told me to "just stop" caring.
So.....WHATEVER.
Ditto
I don't want to be one of those "wo is me" writers all the time. But since it's my journal....I do wha I want. I'm generally I happy care-free guy, but these last couple months have been downers.
Today was an awful day. Someone I love and care a great deal for decided to go and cut me out of his life. His reasoning (which it's a very long and complicated story), is what it is. I don't agree with it, nor he agree with mine. It's been a very bitter-sweet roller coaster kinda relationship with him. And I've always known I should leave it be and forget him, for my own sake. But I mean, when you love someone, what you know to be best and what you feel don't always agree. Often times, the heart dominates the brain. This person I love, we haven't been anything for a while other than friends -well- a dysfunctional resemblance of a friendship. Let's just say it was very one-sided, again, I knew this but chose to look past it due to the way I felt. Anyway. Like I said, today our some-kind-of-relationship came to an end. It's kinda devastating. I think about it, and all I feel is great sadness and struggle to comprehend that it's over, I'll probably never see this person I care so much for again. It's very depressing.
So there was that. My day had been fully crapped upon. And it'll probably stink up my whole week.
Aaaaaaaaannnnd then, I realized tonight that I have alienated myself from my friends. Due to another long story, though shorter than the first one, I decided it would be best for me to distance myself from, not my friends, but a particular person and situation, which consequently meant distancing myself from my friends. I felt like it was the best thing to do for myself. I thought I would take time to figure things out and allow myself to really move one and just focus on me. But as time went one, I grew more and more lonely. I wanted more with each day to be with them. But I was convinced, that for my own sake, I needed to be removed. I thought that it would be okay, I thought that they would understand. I thought that when I felt i was ready, I would be able to go back to them and it would be like it was before I had to leave them. But I seem to have been wrong. I feel a distance between them and myself. I feel no longer like i'm a part of that group. I know they would disagree and say I'm still one of them and I know I am. But theres still that feeling of....not the same. And it's my fault. I did this to myself. I distanced myself from them and in that time a distance grew between us.
But what really vomited on top of my crapped on day was that I found out some of them decided to live together. Now normally thats whatever. But one of the guys they are moving in with, the long story guy......IDK how to word it. Basically, I'm butt hurt and upset about it. I feel like I introduced him to everyone, stuff happens, everyone starts to love the hell out of him, I go away, they all become butt-buddies and BFF's for life and decide to live together and I'm left feeling like I'm on the outside looking in and getting all sad and shit cause no one thought to ask me to live with them.
But it's all whatever. I'm probably to effing sensitive to this crap. Such is life. I'll get over it and be back at square one. The problem is my dwelling mind that drags this mess out and refuses to let me just get over it. But I always eventually get over it.
So yeah, today emotionally blew. I'm working on not caring about anything, considering both long story #1 and long story #2 told me to "just stop" caring.
So.....WHATEVER.
Ditto
Thursday, April 18, 2013
"Gay is okay!" -God
Dear journal,
For this entry I want to share the main reasons I feel I do not need to reconcile my homosexual self with my Mormon self, the reasons I do not believe homosexuality is wrong nor an abomination to God. But is in fact just fine and acceptable to our Heavenly Father. And don’t get me wrong, I love the church, I mean not to disprove the church or speak against it. I mean only to explain why I believe the (LDS) church will one day change it’s view and stance on homosexuality.
For this entry I want to share the main reasons I feel I do not need to reconcile my homosexual self with my Mormon self, the reasons I do not believe homosexuality is wrong nor an abomination to God. But is in fact just fine and acceptable to our Heavenly Father. And don’t get me wrong, I love the church, I mean not to disprove the church or speak against it. I mean only to explain why I believe the (LDS) church will one day change it’s view and stance on homosexuality.
I have three points: 1. God created me and only intends for me to achieve eternal salvation. 2. The “plugs” DO very well fit. 3. God gives us line upon line and precept upon precept. I’ll do my best to explain and be concise. My reasons and explanations come from more of a Later-day Saint understanding and doctrine, But I’m sure no matter who you are, you’ll be able to grasp my point.
Reason #1
Moses 1:39- For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. We understand this to mean two things: 1. God wants us to have eternal life and salvation. 2. For God to continue to progress and obtain even higher glory himself, he must help us to do so as well.
Lets look at number 1. Heavenly Father WANTS us, every single one of his children to have salvation and return to live with him in the highest glory. He loves us and does nothing to hinder our progression, He does nothing to keep us from progressing to eternal life and again living in his very presence. The Lord created every one of us. He created every aspect of our very being. And thus he created me and all his LGBT children with homosexual “tendencies”. Heavenly Father creates perfection. He did not accidentally create me gay or forget to turn on my “I like girls” switch. No, he created me perfectly the way he intended, one of his male children who will one day love another perfectly created male child of his. And because he created me as such and wants nothing more than for me to be happy and obtain salvation and eternal life, how could he then tell me, “if you choose to love another man and “act on” the homosexual “tendencies” I have given you, you will not be able to obtain eternal life”. “I love you and want you to return to me but you don’t have that great of a shot since you’re a homosexual”. No, Heavenly Father would not do anything of the sort. He would not handicap my progression and chance at eternal life. Some people may say, “Yes, he gave you the temptation or burden of these “tendencies”, you did not choose them. However you do choose to “act” on them. And that is your trial in this life.” Or, “It’s just like when someone has alcoholic tendencies”. One, no one is born an alcoholic and two, ones personal happiness and fulfillment is not dependent on if they get a shot of vodka or not. The temptation to drink pales in comparison to “act” on homosexual tendencies. And to the first argument, Heavenly father does not give us temptations or burdens, he allows them to happen but he does not give them. However, by your statement, we both agree that Heavenly Father has created me with these “tendencies” and therefore can not be a temptation or burden. The God I love, know, and worship would in no way damn his own children before they even knew what their name was. It’s like God sending one of his children to earth knowing full well that the person is going to die by burning to death, this person will have no choice in how they die. Once this person gets to earth, God decrees that any person who burns to death, shall not receive eternal life or be able to return to live with him. This is not how the Lord works.
Now looking at number 2. For the Lord to continue his own progression and obtain more glory still, we, his children, must obtain Eternal life and glory ourselves. By creating, say, 100 children, and needing all 100 of us to return, would he not be hindering his own progression by making 25 of us gay or lesbian and forbidding us from being able to return and live with him?
Reason #2 (This one is a little more mature):
I read an article not to long ago (And I tried really hard to find it again so that I could link it) that surveyed men and women on sexual satisfaction. From the results, they found that some high percentage (It was in the 60-70’s) of women reached orgasm more often by being externally stimulated. Now, we all know that male organs do not stimulate externally. More than 50% of women reported this!
Now look at the males physical make up. The anus contains more pleasure nerves than anywhere else on the body (Male and female). It’s true, look it up! Meaning sexual satisfaction is certainly obtainable by stimulation. And not to mention that the prostate is found right there, which again, provides a great amount of ....satisfaction.
So what exactly is my point? It’s this rather elementary. Heavenly Father, having created our bodies, putting every cell, bone, and even the nerves in very meticulous spots to work perfectly together and serve varying purposes, knew exactly what he was doing and made it possible for- no matter which gender you were with- everyone to be sexually satisfied and fulfilled. So it’s more unnatural the way we grow our food than to have sex with someone of the same gender.
Here, someone might argue “well, what about the law of chastity?” To that I say this, a homosexual person is perfectly able to keep all the laws and commandments a heterosexual person can. The law of chastity simply is no sexual relations outside the bonds of legal marriage. And guess whats been happening! Gay couples are being able to marry, LEGALLY! Meaning, a homosexual couple if remaining chaste before marriage and has sexual relations only with their spouse after, are perfectly within the bounds of that law.
**Edit: Point three somehow was cut off. I'll have to make a future post going into how blacks and the priesthood is a precedent to LGBT's and the church. Sorry.
Ditto
**Edit: Point three somehow was cut off. I'll have to make a future post going into how blacks and the priesthood is a precedent to LGBT's and the church. Sorry.
Ditto
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Equality is well on it's way
Dear journal,
Today is a special day. The Supreme court began reviewing prop 8 and DOMA! If they get overturned, the "same-sex"marriage debate will be over!
I woke up this morning and quickly turned on my computer to check in on the status of the rulings and all the stuff going on around it. While watching and seeing all the support on Facebook, twitter, and the speeches given in D.C., I started crying. I was so happy and excited! I AM so happy and excited! Things are changing. The majority of the people are in favor of "same-sex" marriage. I could go off on all these thoughts and feeling about the topic. But for now, I am just so elated and beyond words excited.
I wore red today and my Facebook and the internet were blowing up red. Today in My EMT class several of the students asked me about my button, resembling this picture.
One day. I will marry a boy named Jake. And I will not have to worry about which state I live in. I will not need to worry about any legal issues should a death between us happen or any other legal crap. We will be able to live happily. As man and man.
This is a wonderful time.
Live updates
Today is a special day. The Supreme court began reviewing prop 8 and DOMA! If they get overturned, the "same-sex"marriage debate will be over!
I woke up this morning and quickly turned on my computer to check in on the status of the rulings and all the stuff going on around it. While watching and seeing all the support on Facebook, twitter, and the speeches given in D.C., I started crying. I was so happy and excited! I AM so happy and excited! Things are changing. The majority of the people are in favor of "same-sex" marriage. I could go off on all these thoughts and feeling about the topic. But for now, I am just so elated and beyond words excited.
I wore red today and my Facebook and the internet were blowing up red. Today in My EMT class several of the students asked me about my button, resembling this picture.
And it opened up a great discussion about the Supreme court cases and marriage equality. Which also lead to being gay and mormon. But it was an awesome discussion. The whole class was super cool and supportive. Haha, in fact, I think I may have become a little more popular with them all, haha.
One day. I will marry a boy named Jake. And I will not have to worry about which state I live in. I will not need to worry about any legal issues should a death between us happen or any other legal crap. We will be able to live happily. As man and man.
This is a wonderful time.
Live updates
Ditto
Monday, March 18, 2013
Leaving on a jet plane
Dear journal,
I just want to go. I want to go somewhere new. Somewhere no one knows me and I know no one. A place to just leave things and people behind and start over. No past or history with anyone. No memories anywhere. It would be a chance to reinvent and re-distinguish myself. And everything so new. A place I can just disappear.
No one has preconceived notions of me. And I of no one else. I can truly become and be a new person, the person Ive wanted to be. No longer bound by the expectations those I know have developed and have for me.
To be able to leave thoughts and care of people behind, no longer burdened by the constant thoughts and memories of times changed or relationships lost. To be able to walk down the street and not have to think about that IHOP being your first date. Or that park was your first kiss. To be able to move on without the constant reminders of how good it was or the hopes and expectations you had.
But most appealing; The opportunity to reinvent myself. I did it when I left Texas and came to Utah. It's about time to do it again. To re-distiguish myself. And not just with the people around me but with myself. A new place, a new Ditto.
I have the soul of a gypsy. All growing up we moved literaly every two-three years for one reason or another. From one home to another, one town to the next. I hated it. But its stuck with me. I can't stay in one place for to long. On my LDS mission, by the second or third month in one city, I was ready to move to the next. Here at BYU, I feel like I need to move to a new house and area of provo every semester. It just gets to a point when I have to leave to change my surroundings . And its not just applicable to my location. I cant stand work that never changes. Im going to need a career that changes from time to time. So no accounting for me ;)
I've been itching to go. To go somewhere new. The gypsy in me is yerning to move on. To find and experiance something new.
The only thing that keeps me from just going is 1. My friends here. I love them and they mean the world to me. I would do anything for them, literally. And it would kill me to just up and leave them behind. Not to mention I'm a type of person that needs those close relationships, "crave them", my therapist says. And so the idea of losing that is one that scares me. 2. My mother would call the national guard to find me.
I'm going to do it, journal. This Summer. I'm going to go. I'm going to start over somewhere new. I'm thinking Washington. But maybe New York, like I've always dreamed. Or San Francisco. I don't know! For how long? I don't know! You never know where you'll end up. I'm no where near where I thought I would be just one year ago, much less six months ago!
I just want to go. I want to go somewhere new. Somewhere no one knows me and I know no one. A place to just leave things and people behind and start over. No past or history with anyone. No memories anywhere. It would be a chance to reinvent and re-distinguish myself. And everything so new. A place I can just disappear.
I've been itching to go. To go somewhere new. The gypsy in me is yerning to move on. To find and experiance something new.
I'm going to do it, journal. This Summer. I'm going to go. I'm going to start over somewhere new. I'm thinking Washington. But maybe New York, like I've always dreamed. Or San Francisco. I don't know! For how long? I don't know! You never know where you'll end up. I'm no where near where I thought I would be just one year ago, much less six months ago!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Chivalry isn't so outdated after all
Dear journal,
As far as family roles and dating goes, I've always considered myself a modern day guy. I don't feel like I have to be the one to ask a girl on a date based off the fact that I am a male. Or that it's my responsibility to pay for that date every time because, again, I have the outward facing genitals. And I've always pictured my wife (assuming I marry a woman ;)) having her own successful career.
I've always felt that opening doors and all that jazz was just kinda over the top and out-dated. I mean it's a nice gesture and what not. But yeah.
Until recently.
I was going on dates with this one guy, we'll call him ThisBoy. We were't anything serious and had been on maybe one date before. But this date, ThisBoy took me to *IHOPE for breakfast. While paying for the check, the waitress approached us and told us the cook (who had seated us) thought [ThisBoy] was cute and wanted to see if he could get his number. ThisBoy said no, he doesn't give his number out and sent the check with her. While sitting there I asked why didn't you give him your number? "because that was extremely rude of him and pisses me off that he would ask". At first I was a little taken back and thought ThisBoy was over reacting and being kinda harsh. But he continued; "It's obvious I'm on a date with you". I don't know where I was going with that, but it kinda made me feel really good about ThisBoy and respected. But I mention that because it was only the beginning.
Walking to the car, ThisBoy went to the passenger side-door.
I was like, is he wanting me to drive? He must need to grab something. Wha..what the... "what are you doing, ha?"
"I'm opening the door for you, duh"
"uh...okay, thanks."
Again I was taken back a little. And again, I felt the same feelings as moments before.
We spent some more time together that day and then he took me home.
"Here we are" were not his exact words.
"Thanks for the ride ho....where are you going?" I asked all confused like as he got out of the car.
"I'm walking you to the door"
............It's like 15 feet, "uh, okay". And again, the same feelings.
Those feelings were feelings of being respected and excitement that he was so amazing. It made me feel like I was more than just another guy. Thinking back on the date and ThisBoy opening the car door for me and walking me to my door is my favorite memory of ThisBoy and our date. He made me feel good about myself and greatly impressed me with those two simple small acts. I never thought someone would do such a thing for me or like me enough to do it. And of course it made me like him 40X more, haha. I was surprised not only that he did those things, but I was surprised by the way it made me feel. It was a completely new experience for me.
Thanks to ThisBoy, my perspective on the simple acts of opening a door for your date and walking them to the door are changed.
I've always said: 'The type of girl I marry will be the girl that asks me out". But now I can't wait to marry the person that opens the door for me and walks me to the door.
*Spell out 'IHOP' and say "ness";) Hahaha, I love it.
Ditto
As far as family roles and dating goes, I've always considered myself a modern day guy. I don't feel like I have to be the one to ask a girl on a date based off the fact that I am a male. Or that it's my responsibility to pay for that date every time because, again, I have the outward facing genitals. And I've always pictured my wife (assuming I marry a woman ;)) having her own successful career.
I've always felt that opening doors and all that jazz was just kinda over the top and out-dated. I mean it's a nice gesture and what not. But yeah.
Until recently.
I was going on dates with this one guy, we'll call him ThisBoy. We were't anything serious and had been on maybe one date before. But this date, ThisBoy took me to *IHOPE for breakfast. While paying for the check, the waitress approached us and told us the cook (who had seated us) thought [ThisBoy] was cute and wanted to see if he could get his number. ThisBoy said no, he doesn't give his number out and sent the check with her. While sitting there I asked why didn't you give him your number? "because that was extremely rude of him and pisses me off that he would ask". At first I was a little taken back and thought ThisBoy was over reacting and being kinda harsh. But he continued; "It's obvious I'm on a date with you". I don't know where I was going with that, but it kinda made me feel really good about ThisBoy and respected. But I mention that because it was only the beginning.
Walking to the car, ThisBoy went to the passenger side-door.
I was like, is he wanting me to drive? He must need to grab something. Wha..what the... "what are you doing, ha?"
"I'm opening the door for you, duh"
"uh...okay, thanks."
Again I was taken back a little. And again, I felt the same feelings as moments before.
We spent some more time together that day and then he took me home.
"Here we are" were not his exact words.
"Thanks for the ride ho....where are you going?" I asked all confused like as he got out of the car.
"I'm walking you to the door"
............It's like 15 feet, "uh, okay". And again, the same feelings.
Those feelings were feelings of being respected and excitement that he was so amazing. It made me feel like I was more than just another guy. Thinking back on the date and ThisBoy opening the car door for me and walking me to my door is my favorite memory of ThisBoy and our date. He made me feel good about myself and greatly impressed me with those two simple small acts. I never thought someone would do such a thing for me or like me enough to do it. And of course it made me like him 40X more, haha. I was surprised not only that he did those things, but I was surprised by the way it made me feel. It was a completely new experience for me.
Thanks to ThisBoy, my perspective on the simple acts of opening a door for your date and walking them to the door are changed.
I've always said: 'The type of girl I marry will be the girl that asks me out". But now I can't wait to marry the person that opens the door for me and walks me to the door.
*Spell out 'IHOP' and say "ness";) Hahaha, I love it.
Ditto
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
I am Scott Zackery Ditto. Ditto to most.
Dear Journal,
This being my journal and writing about my life and thoughts and all that junk, there's something you'd need to know to better know me and understand me. Something that is a large part of my life and a big part of what makes me...me, And yet it's not. Its just another little insignificant part of me that makes me who I am.
I, Scott Zackery Ditto, am bisexual.
I sometimes just say gay, cause it's easier to explain and people can comprehend that better than the vague therm that is "bi". So what does that mean? It means I am sexually AND romantically attracted to male and female humans. I've concluded that I am 70-80% gay and 30-20% straight (depending on the day). Meaning, I am more attracted to males and a wider variety of males, than I am to females.
Now that you understand that, lets talk about it. Some of you may be surprised and some of you may not be so surprised, and then some of you already know. And I know that some of you may have questions or thoughts. I would love to answer them and discuss anything with you. Just ask.
The first question I usually get is: "But you're Mormon"
Yes, I am Mormon! And I know the current doctrine and the current position The LDS Church has on homosexuality. However. I also know that just because I am gay, does not mean the church is not true. I continue to have faith in my religion and will always continue to have that faith. Even if I were to be excommunicated one day, I would still attend church on Sundays and practice my LDS beliefs. How do I reconcile my faith and my sexual orientation? Simple. I do not believe there is anything to reconcile. I can not believe homosexuality is in any way hated by Heavenly Father. If it is, he is not the all loving and inclusive God I have come to know and love. I have three main reasons I believe this and have full faith in. But those are for a future entry. (Here is the future entry.)
Next comes: "If you're bi, why don't you just date/marry girls"
Who knows maybe I will. The way it is for me is I like and fall in love with who I like and fall in love with. If I happen to meet a fine young lady that I love and marry first, so be it! But if I meet a fine young gentleman that I love and marry first, all the same! Either way, I know I will be happy and fulfilled.
There are lots of questions and I have my answers, so if you have some, ask away. But I don't want this to be a super long entry ;)
Now that you know.....now what? What happens? What changes? How should you react, treat me, or think of me?
Nothing happens. Nothing changes. You react like you just found out I like the color green (which I do). You treat me as you always have. And you think kindly and loving of me. If anything, you think of me as brave and strong.
Why brave and strong? Because thats what it takes to be any kind of gay in this world. And even more of it to "come out" to people. I am 100% confident in my sexuality. I have no issues with being gay; socially, religiously, or personally. But to sit down, look your mother in the face after twenty three years of hearing that being gay is a sin and is disgusting from your family, your friends, leaders, role models, and preachers, is the most un-nerving, emotionally racking, and scariest thing someone will ever do. It takes courage to be gay in our world. To walk down the street holding hands with the person you love and hear someone on the other side of the street yell out at you "Fucking Fagots" and to still hold your head high. To listen to your best friends discuss how gross gay guys are and how they would beat them up if one ever hit on them. Or to go to church. To go to church, a place you seek for upliftment and guidance, and have to listen to the preacher give a sermon on the great abomination that you are and that you are never going to go to heaven. No, you will go to hell and burn. Because God, the one being who you should be able to turn to for unconditional love hates you.
Yes. Think of me and every other homosexual person as brave and strong.
Why "Come out"?
I've never even thought about coming out until recently. I didn't feel it was something I needed to do or should have to do. The only time I brought it up or told anyone was if it was relevant to the conversation/situation or important for someone to know. I wasn't closeted but I wasn't "out" either.
I decided to "come out" for a few reasons. First. Because I can not stand to be just sit back anymore and watch/listen to the hate and stupidity of people towards homosexuals anymore. I mean watch this video and tell me that is what God wants. Which is the bigger abomination to God: Me loving a man or people hating, condemning, and killing people in the name of God because they love the same sex? I "came out" because I want to be a voice for myself and fellow homo's. I want to help change the way people view homosexuals. And it has to start with myself. Second. I want to be open and honest with all the people I know and love. It's a part of who I am. To truly know me and love me, you must truly know me. Third, while I haven't treated it as a secret and am in no way ashamed of being bisexual, it is a big burden lifted to say it and for people to know.
I am the same person I have been. I am Scott Zackery Ditto. I am bisexual. I am a son, a brother, a friend. I am white. American. 5'11. I'm Mormon. A student at BYU. More a liberal than anything else. I love Chinese food. I get shy in large groups. I love people and give the benefit of the doubt to a fault. I cry when I see the dark side of people. I also cry watching Lilo and Sticth. I love dogs.
Ditto
This being my journal and writing about my life and thoughts and all that junk, there's something you'd need to know to better know me and understand me. Something that is a large part of my life and a big part of what makes me...me, And yet it's not. Its just another little insignificant part of me that makes me who I am.
I, Scott Zackery Ditto, am bisexual.
I sometimes just say gay, cause it's easier to explain and people can comprehend that better than the vague therm that is "bi". So what does that mean? It means I am sexually AND romantically attracted to male and female humans. I've concluded that I am 70-80% gay and 30-20% straight (depending on the day). Meaning, I am more attracted to males and a wider variety of males, than I am to females.
Now that you understand that, lets talk about it. Some of you may be surprised and some of you may not be so surprised, and then some of you already know. And I know that some of you may have questions or thoughts. I would love to answer them and discuss anything with you. Just ask.
The first question I usually get is: "But you're Mormon"
Yes, I am Mormon! And I know the current doctrine and the current position The LDS Church has on homosexuality. However. I also know that just because I am gay, does not mean the church is not true. I continue to have faith in my religion and will always continue to have that faith. Even if I were to be excommunicated one day, I would still attend church on Sundays and practice my LDS beliefs. How do I reconcile my faith and my sexual orientation? Simple. I do not believe there is anything to reconcile. I can not believe homosexuality is in any way hated by Heavenly Father. If it is, he is not the all loving and inclusive God I have come to know and love. I have three main reasons I believe this and have full faith in. But those are for a future entry. (Here is the future entry.)
Next comes: "If you're bi, why don't you just date/marry girls"
Who knows maybe I will. The way it is for me is I like and fall in love with who I like and fall in love with. If I happen to meet a fine young lady that I love and marry first, so be it! But if I meet a fine young gentleman that I love and marry first, all the same! Either way, I know I will be happy and fulfilled.
There are lots of questions and I have my answers, so if you have some, ask away. But I don't want this to be a super long entry ;)
Now that you know.....now what? What happens? What changes? How should you react, treat me, or think of me?
Nothing happens. Nothing changes. You react like you just found out I like the color green (which I do). You treat me as you always have. And you think kindly and loving of me. If anything, you think of me as brave and strong.
Why brave and strong? Because thats what it takes to be any kind of gay in this world. And even more of it to "come out" to people. I am 100% confident in my sexuality. I have no issues with being gay; socially, religiously, or personally. But to sit down, look your mother in the face after twenty three years of hearing that being gay is a sin and is disgusting from your family, your friends, leaders, role models, and preachers, is the most un-nerving, emotionally racking, and scariest thing someone will ever do. It takes courage to be gay in our world. To walk down the street holding hands with the person you love and hear someone on the other side of the street yell out at you "Fucking Fagots" and to still hold your head high. To listen to your best friends discuss how gross gay guys are and how they would beat them up if one ever hit on them. Or to go to church. To go to church, a place you seek for upliftment and guidance, and have to listen to the preacher give a sermon on the great abomination that you are and that you are never going to go to heaven. No, you will go to hell and burn. Because God, the one being who you should be able to turn to for unconditional love hates you.
Yes. Think of me and every other homosexual person as brave and strong.
Why "Come out"?
I've never even thought about coming out until recently. I didn't feel it was something I needed to do or should have to do. The only time I brought it up or told anyone was if it was relevant to the conversation/situation or important for someone to know. I wasn't closeted but I wasn't "out" either.
I decided to "come out" for a few reasons. First. Because I can not stand to be just sit back anymore and watch/listen to the hate and stupidity of people towards homosexuals anymore. I mean watch this video and tell me that is what God wants. Which is the bigger abomination to God: Me loving a man or people hating, condemning, and killing people in the name of God because they love the same sex? I "came out" because I want to be a voice for myself and fellow homo's. I want to help change the way people view homosexuals. And it has to start with myself. Second. I want to be open and honest with all the people I know and love. It's a part of who I am. To truly know me and love me, you must truly know me. Third, while I haven't treated it as a secret and am in no way ashamed of being bisexual, it is a big burden lifted to say it and for people to know.
I am the same person I have been. I am Scott Zackery Ditto. I am bisexual. I am a son, a brother, a friend. I am white. American. 5'11. I'm Mormon. A student at BYU. More a liberal than anything else. I love Chinese food. I get shy in large groups. I love people and give the benefit of the doubt to a fault. I cry when I see the dark side of people. I also cry watching Lilo and Sticth. I love dogs.
Ditto
Friday, March 8, 2013
John 13:34
Dear journal,
I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am and the things I stand for. Usually, I am super moderate on most things. I often see and understand things from both sides and accept that there is never just the one way and that both (or all 74) ways have their pros and cons. But there is one thing that stands out to me above all things when I think about what I stand for. I stand for love. Of course I think most people do. But it for me it is the thing I will fight for. I would protest for. I would dedicate my time and life to. Above all things I stand for love.
When I say love, I don't simply mean the common understanding of love which is something that two people share when they have a special connection or the bonds of family. The love I mean is acceptance. This love is tolerance. Respect. It's loving your fellow human the way Christ intended when he told us to love. Loving someone no matter race, sex, sexual orientation, religion or lack of, abortion beliefs, or political views, ethnicity, or citizenship. The love I stand for is all this and so much more.
Nothing bothers me more in this world than the evident lack of this love. When my grandfather calls a man from the middle east a "Sand nigger" with the tone of disdain. When a white man speaks of a mexican man or black man as if he is some how less of a human than he is. When the student behind me in class claims that if he ever found out his brother was a homosexual he would beat it out of him. While driving through the Chick-fil-a drive-tru my friends mother remarks how much of an idiot the lady is because she got the drink order wrong and probably is a high school drop out. Or on the much larger scales; of nations going to war because of race or religion, homosexuals being refused marriage rights, and the Ugandan government attempting to pass a law that allows for the legal killing of homosexuals. Anything, racist, sexist, or that does not show respect, tolerance, or acceptance of any other individual. It is one of the few things that angers me. That makes me feel disgust and disdain. It's something that I just will never be able to comprehend; how can anyone feel any of these things towards another person?
I'm not innocent of cracking mexican or black jokes. I've laughed at "your mammas so fat" statements. And I have an issue with cross-dressers and sex-changes. However, I don't genuinely believe or mean any of them. I believe finding the humor in the stereotypes. I mean, people didn't just pull the stereotypes out their butts, they come from a smidgin of truth. And I still have complete respect and tolerance for those who chose to have a sex change. But its when the line is crossed that it becomes that lack of love. When the jokes are no longer simply a joke.
My mother says when I was born I cried furiously and the nurse told her I was mad at the world. I'm not mad at it, I understand we are all human. I am just greatly disappointed in it.
I stand for love and I will dedicate my life to encouraging it. I will forever fiercely fight hate.
Ditto
I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am and the things I stand for. Usually, I am super moderate on most things. I often see and understand things from both sides and accept that there is never just the one way and that both (or all 74) ways have their pros and cons. But there is one thing that stands out to me above all things when I think about what I stand for. I stand for love. Of course I think most people do. But it for me it is the thing I will fight for. I would protest for. I would dedicate my time and life to. Above all things I stand for love.
When I say love, I don't simply mean the common understanding of love which is something that two people share when they have a special connection or the bonds of family. The love I mean is acceptance. This love is tolerance. Respect. It's loving your fellow human the way Christ intended when he told us to love. Loving someone no matter race, sex, sexual orientation, religion or lack of, abortion beliefs, or political views, ethnicity, or citizenship. The love I stand for is all this and so much more.
Nothing bothers me more in this world than the evident lack of this love. When my grandfather calls a man from the middle east a "Sand nigger" with the tone of disdain. When a white man speaks of a mexican man or black man as if he is some how less of a human than he is. When the student behind me in class claims that if he ever found out his brother was a homosexual he would beat it out of him. While driving through the Chick-fil-a drive-tru my friends mother remarks how much of an idiot the lady is because she got the drink order wrong and probably is a high school drop out. Or on the much larger scales; of nations going to war because of race or religion, homosexuals being refused marriage rights, and the Ugandan government attempting to pass a law that allows for the legal killing of homosexuals. Anything, racist, sexist, or that does not show respect, tolerance, or acceptance of any other individual. It is one of the few things that angers me. That makes me feel disgust and disdain. It's something that I just will never be able to comprehend; how can anyone feel any of these things towards another person?
I'm not innocent of cracking mexican or black jokes. I've laughed at "your mammas so fat" statements. And I have an issue with cross-dressers and sex-changes. However, I don't genuinely believe or mean any of them. I believe finding the humor in the stereotypes. I mean, people didn't just pull the stereotypes out their butts, they come from a smidgin of truth. And I still have complete respect and tolerance for those who chose to have a sex change. But its when the line is crossed that it becomes that lack of love. When the jokes are no longer simply a joke.
My mother says when I was born I cried furiously and the nurse told her I was mad at the world. I'm not mad at it, I understand we are all human. I am just greatly disappointed in it.
I stand for love and I will dedicate my life to encouraging it. I will forever fiercely fight hate.
Ditto
"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another." -Christ
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
The start of....something.
Dear Journal,
My problem with journal writing is 1. Keeping up with it, and 2. Knowing what to write. I mean, will my future readers care that I went to the gym today or that I fell down and embarrassed myself in front of a bunch of people?
If I were the future reader, I wouldn't care. No, when I read a journal, I'm looking for the real good stuff. I want to really get an insight into the person who decided to write it all down. If I'm taking the time to read about them then I want to really get to know them. The good, the bad, the ugly, the why, etc. What does this person think while they lie in bed at night staring into the dark? And then I want to learn form them. What can I take from their life, their beliefs, their understandings and use to improve my own? It's a chance to view the world from another perspective.
And so that's what I hope to do with this journal. I want to allow others an honest view into my life. My own good, bad, and ugly. I want to share my view on life and all that comes with it. Maybe after reading my entries you might see something in a different light, better understand the other side of an idea, or even think of something you never have before.
Keep in mind, this is my personal journal. In it I will leave my personal thoughts, problems, opinions, desires, and beliefs. I will be open, honest, and unbashful. You may not agree with or like them all; however, I would hope you wouldn't simply write anything off as wrong or ridiculous. No ones honest opinion or beliefs are wrong or ridiculous. And above all, I hope any and all judgments, if made, are set aside. I speak of my own accord and for no one else.
So here you have it. My unlocked journal for any and all to read. Perhaps you might even gain some insight into who I am and be able to take something from it to enrich your own life.
Ditto
My problem with journal writing is 1. Keeping up with it, and 2. Knowing what to write. I mean, will my future readers care that I went to the gym today or that I fell down and embarrassed myself in front of a bunch of people?
If I were the future reader, I wouldn't care. No, when I read a journal, I'm looking for the real good stuff. I want to really get an insight into the person who decided to write it all down. If I'm taking the time to read about them then I want to really get to know them. The good, the bad, the ugly, the why, etc. What does this person think while they lie in bed at night staring into the dark? And then I want to learn form them. What can I take from their life, their beliefs, their understandings and use to improve my own? It's a chance to view the world from another perspective.
And so that's what I hope to do with this journal. I want to allow others an honest view into my life. My own good, bad, and ugly. I want to share my view on life and all that comes with it. Maybe after reading my entries you might see something in a different light, better understand the other side of an idea, or even think of something you never have before.
Keep in mind, this is my personal journal. In it I will leave my personal thoughts, problems, opinions, desires, and beliefs. I will be open, honest, and unbashful. You may not agree with or like them all; however, I would hope you wouldn't simply write anything off as wrong or ridiculous. No ones honest opinion or beliefs are wrong or ridiculous. And above all, I hope any and all judgments, if made, are set aside. I speak of my own accord and for no one else.
So here you have it. My unlocked journal for any and all to read. Perhaps you might even gain some insight into who I am and be able to take something from it to enrich your own life.
Ditto
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