Not-so-lonely V-Day

Dear Journal,

I told you in the start not to expect me to write regularly for very long! But I'm back, baby! And on Valentines Day of all days! If you recall from a previous entry (This one here. ),  I said Valentines Day is my favorite holiday. That remains truer than ever! I love the day dedicated to love. Be bitter about it and call it over-rated and commercialism at its finest if that's what you want to do. OR go out and love someone! Show appreciation to a friend or two, your mom or dad, your co-worker who is slightly taken for granted, show a little extra attention to that guy or gal you've been interested in. Show and share some love! It's such a great and unique feeling to know someone thought of you on this day.
I'l give the I've-been-MIA-so-here-is-an-update-on-life entry another time.

For today, today, I want to express some love. Good ol' L-O-V-E. This love is for someone specific though ;). This love is for my  man, Mikeum (My-kum(I know what you're thinking, you nasty)). I would insert a picture of us, BUUUUT as with a lot of LGBT LDS cases, there are some family issues that are working out before he and I go viral. Yes, we are viral cute.

Mikeum and I met via the magic that is Tinder. We chatted for a bit, this and that. Then the jerk blocked me on everything and ignored me for a couple weeks, seemingly out of no where. I KNOOOW, who would do that!? Utah gays, thats who. Anyway, my charm and cunning ways, intrigued him once again and he couldn't resist. We decided to go on a date/discuss church/gay stuff; church stuff being why he blocked me. Needless to say, he got hooked on Ditto. We meet up and went on several more cute as shit dates, like the Zoo Lights. That was a good date. After he got over himself and realized I wasn't trying to play him, cause I "seemed the type" (bitch please), we decided to just make it what it already was and just date. We started a journey together on New Years Eve. Start the new year off with some homo love and family drama; check that off the 2015 Gay Agenda, please. Skip lots of personal stuff, because it's personal-duh, but mostly because I don't want to type that crap up, and here we are today! Mikeum is someone I didn't necessarily see myself falling for at first. I didn't feel that initial click right off. But man has this boy grown on me. I mean, you should see his SUPER SMASH BROS skills. Mad. Kinda a turn on watching him kick some Falco butt. Also his love for Pokemon. I love Pokemon, he loves Pokemon and we both hate any Pokemon after the first generation. A match made in heaven, right!? I mean, yeah, there is a bunch of personality and character stuff too, of course. And those damn blue eyes. Wait till you see them. This is a guy I can see something great with. And that is something incredible.

Anyway, I would write more but his car broke down and he isn't able to come to SLC for the day, so I'm on my way to surprise him with some flowers and a special book in Provo and the train is pulling in so I gotz to bounce.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!! 

Ditto

Who said gods are sexually active?

Dear Journal,

Recently I had a roommate, out of curiosity, ask me questions about being homosexual and mormon. Which, I'm always happy to discuss with people!

One of his questions was (paraphrased); "But what about after this life, when we are creating our own spirit children, two people of the same sex wouldn't be able to do that?"

I mean it's a good question. We know that after this life at some point, assuming we lived to meet the requirements and did all that was needed, we will become as god and start creating our own spirit children and what-nots. So how could a gay god or goddess couple create these spirits?

Well. My response to this is; Who said God is having sex and heavenly mother is popping out little ones left and right? Cause let's be honest, to create all of us that way, all due respect, heavenly father must be poppin the blue pill non-stop and heavenly mother constantly baking some buns in the oven.

Here in Moses 3:5, the lord tells us he created all things spiritually before they were physical.  The key word here is CREATE. As gods we CREATE spirit children. We do not birth spirit children. And that extends to things such as planets. I would hate to think Heavenly Mother had to push all these massive planets out....

Not to mention that Heavenly father didn't really CREATE us. We learn from D&C 93:29 and Abraham 3:22 that we existed as intelligences, even with God, that were "not created or made, neither indeed can be". But that God in fact organized us as intelligences. And it is the organizing that I can only assume is the creating part. 

My point is this: We do not know how God created us. We do not know how we will in turn create more children when we ourselves are gods. So to try and argue that homosexuality is not natural or ordained by God or that "things will be worked out the right way in heaven" by saying that a man and a man or a woman and a woman will not be able to CREATE spirit children is, simply and bluntly, idiotic of the individual. They are assuming that God has sex with his goddess and she births a child. And you know what they say about assuming (it makes you look like an ass).

So yes, I do believe and have full faith that if I marry another male, and if we live worthily of obtaining godhood, that me and my man will create worlds a plenty with beautiful spirit children running around with tails and/or playing with their soul animals. Cause in my worlds, everyone gets a tail and the Golden Compass is real.

Also, my god name will be Zoltron.


Ditto

A Deck Of Wilds

Dear Journal,

When I'm playing a game of cards, say like UNO or another game that has 'wild' cards, I find that I hope for a wild card. Every draw or cad dealt, I have that little wish that it'll be a 'wild'. I think to myself, "Please be a wild, please be a wild." I hope for a wild card. I get excited when I draw that wild card. And I plan my hand around the wild card(s). However, 97% of the time after flipping the card over I find it is not the wild I had just pleaded for, the card I needed that would of given me two possible winning hands, but rather some useless three or a King that, yeah I could use, but now I also need a dang Jack or a Queen. And I feel slightly let down. And I repeat the plead for a 'wild' each time my turn comes around; and more turns than not, I draw a slightly disappointing card.


You know what is like drawing cards? Life. Except with life, you're hoping for that three or the King in a deck full of wilds.

Life deals you wild cards all the freaking time. You really never know whats coming next. I mean, four months ago I never would of even imagined I'd be sitting here in Waynesboro, Pennsylvania. When I graduated high school I had planned on being graduated from college by now and close to finishing law school. That was the hand I had planned to build and lay down. But here I sit. Waynesboro, PA, not close to graduating and planning to go into advertising/event planning. Why? Because of life's abundance of wild cards.

I've long been at the conclusion, no one can truly know where they will be in 10 years. Five years, even just one year, is hard enough to predict. Anything could happen. I planned to attend NYU and live in NYC as an attorney and aspired to be a judge one day. Then my turn came to draw and I drew the "become mormon and go to BYU" card. I was okay with that card, it just meant I needed to change my hand up some. Okay, so that wasn't expected, but next turn, I just need a 'graduation card' and then I can focus on getting the 'law school' card.

"Your turn, Ditto."

"Oh, cool. Come on graduation, please graduation, graduation, I just need...." "Dang it! Another wild."

And you go through the game, turn after turn, hoping to draw the one card you need, the one card to complete your hand and move on to phase 5, especially since everyone else seems to be on phase 7 already!

And that's all we can really do. Look at the hand we've been dealt, see what direction we want to go, build our hand as we go, and hope for the three or the King that we would really like to draw that would make the game so much more convenient. All the while life is dealing out the wilds and changing up your hand.

Not to say that you can't control where you go or what you do. Just like in the card game, you can choose to continue to build the hand you originally planned to play, making changes here and there as the cards are drawn. But a lot of times, you have to change your plans and keep playing as the wilds come, inserting your more set cards when you can and try your hardest to make the wilds work in your favor.

But sometimes, you just need to pull that ace out of your sleeve and create your own hand.

Life's wild cards come in all aspects of our lives: work, school, friendships/relationships, personal desires/beliefs, and even as things like natural disasters or the choices of other people.  Some of them are great and add to our hand, or our lives, others are disappointing and make our hand more difficult to play.

All you can do is add it to your hand and work with it, hoping your next draw is all the more in your favor.

Ditto